Hallmark Movies Are Monotonous And Improbable

Penelope Waterbury, Cav Culture Editor

I recorded two Hallmark Christmas movies on my DVR: Reunited at Christmas and Enchanted Christmas.

Poster for Reunited at Christmas, the movie Penelope Waterbury watched. Photo courtesy of the Hallmark Channel.

After sitting through an hour and 25 minutes’ worth of forgettable characters, clichéd dialogue and an almost unbearably boring plot with Reunited at Christmas, I knew that watching the other movie was out of the question. The main issue with Hallmark Christmas movies? Every movie is practically identical – and none of them are good.

Christmas movies are meant to make viewers feel something. Hallmark Christmas movies, on the other hand, are so bland and predictable that it is hard to feel anything at all. 

Each movie has the same plot: a girl from a small town moves to the city, finds a guy she likes, has some family drama, then everything works out in the end with the classic “happily ever after,” all thanks to the Christmas spirit. This makes it immensely difficult to feel anything for any of the characters or become invested in the plot. It is like trying to finish a book to which someone has already spoiled the ending.

Adding to the blandness, it feels almost as if the families in these movies aren’t real, like they are straight out of a Land’s End catalogue. Nearly every movie stars an upper-middle class white family. There is no diversity in terms of race or character personality, as Hallmark could not even bother to try and give every identical blonde-haired, blue-eyed star a different set of lines.

Hallmark Christmas movies, on the other hand, are so bland and predictable that it is hard to feel anything at all. ”

Typically, the stars themselves are memorable only for the annoyance they cause the viewer during the movie. Whether they are immature, spoiled or just plain dumb, they often have nothing to contribute to the meaning of the movie- despite being the main character. 

Speaking of the “meaning of the movie,” Hallmark Christmas movies almost always have the same message: true love and a little Christmas spirit will fix anything and everything. While this may sound sweet on the surface, it becomes old very quickly. Parents who have gotten a divorce. A girl who breaks off an engagement with her fiancé. These serious family conflicts are almost always magically solved thanks to the Christmas spirit. It is incredibly unrealistic, and for those who are genuinely going through a difficult time with their family during Christmas, it could almost be insulting. 

Hallmark Christmas movies are simply unremarkable in every way. With the lackluster acting, poorly written dialogue and characters and plots which are reminiscent of the cheesy romance novels you find at the dollar store, they are not worth the hour and a half you would be sacrificing.

Do you like Hallmark Christmas movies?

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